a review of “God Distorted”, by John Bishop
written by Angie Grigaliunas
…Where do I even begin with this book?
Well, I’ve had it since June…and though I glanced through it
a few times, I mostly avoided it. Why I was avoiding it…I’m not exactly sure. I
guess because I was afraid of it --- because I know my view of God is distorted. I’ve known for years, and I have always
felt so helpless to fix it. I know my relationship with my father has hugely impacted
my relationship with God. That’s why, the instant I saw the title of this book
and what it was about, I knew I had to read it. I knew it was for me. So I eagerly
requested it…and then let it sit in my desk for over two months.
Why I picked it up today, I don’t really know; it just felt like
it was time.
The basic premise of this book, repeated several times
throughout, is a quote from A. W. Tozer: “What comes into our minds when we
think about God is the most important thing about us.” I believe that to be true;
I have seen it reflected in the lives of people around me…and mostly, in
myself. My default view of God is one of an angry, irritated God who sees me as
an inconvenience --- if he bothers to feel anything toward me at all. And even
as I write this, I see my father in it. …So, again…exactly the book for me.
The book is divided into four parts: Our Perception, God’s
Perfection, Our Reflection, and My Progression. I like this layout, and I think
it really works well for the subject matter.
With raw authenticity, John first the story of his childhood
and his different fathers [so sad], and how each impacted his view of himself
and his view of God. Then he goes through eight different common father-types, identifying
the primary wounds inflicted, and the behavioral patterns that often take root
in the broken heart of the child. While I really liked that, and found it very interesting,
it was also slightly frustrating. Not because of anything in the book itself
--- but because I have never been able to pinpoint myself or understand why I believe
the way I do when there seems to be no cause. For instance, there is no abuse
in my past; yet, like someone who has experienced abuse, I find myself
convinced that God is harsh and mean and will hurt me for no reason. I was
never really blamed for anything either, yet I see God as pointing his finger
at me, waiting to dole out punishment. …But ultimately, all of that finds its
root in fear…which is definitely the biggest struggle for me when it comes to
God.
The second part walks through different aspects of God ---
each of which speaks to the eight father-types. I probably cried the most
through that part! The third section calls us to return home to God, forgive
and accept forgiveness, how to fight for restoration, and choosing to allow God
to turn the bad into good. The fourth part walks you through some rather intensive
questions, relating to each of the father-type chapters. To be honest, I didn’t
read through all of the questions, because some of the father-types don’t
really apply to me at all. The questions I did go through were insightful; it
is funny/sad to me how difficult I often make things. Truth is right in front
of me, and it is so clear…yet I continually return to the lies.
John’s honesty throughout --- about his own struggles, and
the struggles he’s encountered with his son --- was both refreshing and
touching. He never once tries to make excuses for himself or anyone else, but instead
recognizes how his wounds have led to brokenness in many close relationships. But
he doesn’t dwell on it [anymore]; he chooses to believe that God is still
working everything for good. I don’t know him at all, but even in that is
evidence of transformation.
I think the parts that touched me the most were when John
writes about the Samaritan woman at the well, and the woman who had been bleeding
for twelve years. Those stories are both so familiar to me, but he provided
further insight --- and things I hadn’t thought about before at all. It opened
my eyes to see Jesus in a new light in those passages…which truly touched my
heart. The tenderness and depth of love is so evident…if you just allow
yourself to see.
A part of me was hoping that by the end of the book, I’d be
all fixed…but I know that that isn’t how it works. As John writes at the end of
chapter 21, “We never want the process --- we only want the destination --- but
it is in the process that we find God.” The trials I am facing in my life and
marriage right now…they are part of the process. And in that process, and
through this book, I am finding God.
This book was a deep encouragement --- one of those encouragements
that you don’t fully grasp in the moment, but realize when you look back. For
me, this book is not a fix-all. For someone else, it might be. But with where I
am in my own walk with God…this book is another step in my journey toward seeing
him as a loving Father. I’m not there yet…but I am getting closer. =)
Note: I received this book for free from WaterBrook
Multnomah Publishing Group for this review. This is my opinion only.
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