“J” is for Jehur!!!

“J” is for Jehur, hands down.

Jehur (JEH-hur) was another thing (er, person?) that wasn’t intended.

My story was putzing along with a nice (if somewhat cliché) plot, filled with true love and purpose and all of that, when BAM! – I had another innocent thought.

…Sigh. I should stop having those. (Not really; I like them.)

What if, at some point, she sees one of the inn-guys again?

Aaand…cue a complete change in direction.

So, some stuff about him…

~He is newly 31 when he enters the story. His birthday is April 5^th, he has a medium shade of brown hair, and light gray eyes. Ari calls his eyes “silvery.”

~I am basing some aspects of his life on the Apostle Paul, with some Manasseh inspiration thrown in as well.

~He is a very high-ranking H-guy. He is the third-most powerful man in his nation, and about the fifth-most powerful in the entire world.

~He has a younger brother and two younger sisters. He has an older cousin (Jek), who lived/grew up with him and his family, and with whom he has a long-standing rivalry.  

~He comes from a typical H-guy family and had a relatively uneventful childhood. His father was strict, but never abusive (say, like Azcmavel’s father). I wanted him to be “normal” – making it all the more chilling that he becomes what he becomes.

~With him, I desire to show how small wounds and fears, left unchecked and unhealed, can spiral into horrific behaviors. Hurt people hurt people…

~His uncle (father’s brother) decided against becoming an H-guy himself and was eventually disowned by his father (Jehur’s grandfather) for it. Jehur’s father started off puzzled by the decision but supportive of his brother, but slowly grew just as disdainful toward him as their own father. Jehur witnessed all of this at a young age, and as such…

~He is driven by a desire for power, stemming largely from desperation to please his hard-to-please father and a fear that he, like his uncle, will be disowned and scorned by those he most admires. He vows at a young age to become the best H-guy ever, and he tries his hardest. His deepest fear is that he will be found out to be not enough. This is a leading factor in why he goes to the inn in the first place – because in front of everyone, his fear comes true…

~Other reasons include: a need for control, a deep desire for someone who won’t/can’t reject him (guess what Ari does in his mind?), a desire for pleasure/relaxation (he never feels he can let his guard down), a search for something to “fix” him. (Even though he doesn’t consciously acknowledge that he needs fixed.) The inn not only doesn’t fix anything, but it makes him angrier and he doesn’t know why.

~He does not feel shame or guilt for the inn stuff (until later, at least), but deep down, he knows it’s wrong and he can’t shake that feeling. He eventually goes home, hoping that being around his siblings will help soothe the boiling inside. It doesn’t, just makes it worse.

~He is kind of a mess.

~Personality-wise, he starts off prideful, intensely prejudiced (both against d-guys and anyone who doesn’t agree with him), ruthless, and calculating. He is serious and has trained himself to be controlled and hard to read.

~I’m not sure what his eventual personality will be yet, but I know he is somewhat suicidal for a while and lives under great shame. Though he longs to fix the damage he has inflicted on the world, the task feels insurmountable. But during his attempts to change and fix things, his manner toward people softens. Especially toward those he once viewed as sub-human and disposable.

~It was his idea (at age 18) to use a half-breed child as the initiation into the H-guys. (From this post.)

~He has a dream-like vision that awakens him to who he has become and what he has done. His ultimate desire is to be good, perfect; within the H-guys, he believes he is that, and is on the path that will continue to lead him there. When he realizes otherwise, sees himself through someone else’s eyes, he is horrified.

~His transformation is a huge part of the story, as are the relationships cultivated as he tries to change. Not only with Ari, but with the people he has essentially persecuted, murdered, etc. He becomes a leader of those he once terrorized. =) Also in this vein, because of what happens with Ari, he makes it his goal to rescue people from slavery and throws all of his passion into that.

~For part of the story, Ari views him as the antagonist. He brings back everything she is trying to forget. Funny thing, he views her the same way. She reminds him of the horrible person he’s been; her presence whispers that he can’t really change, will never be able to be anything other than evil and twisted.

~He is the key to Ari’s true freedom and healing. She is the key to his.

~I completely love him.

~He looks something like this in my mind, just with shorter hair. And different clothes.